biggest loser = big fat FAILLL this week… & stuff

A few days ago I posted about how my workplace is doing a weightloss challenge called the Biggest Loser and how I was going to do the Military Diet the last three days of the week to boost my loss.

Unfortunately… didn’t happen. I got distracted by other things. I took the day off work yesterday and didn’t weigh in. One of those “eff it” things… but I needed to do that.

Being bipolar is a real pain in the ass. I’m grateful that if I have to be bipolar at all, at least I am type two, which is ‘soft’ bipolar. That is not to say being of the ‘soft’ variety is easy. Manias are more mild than in classic bipolar, but at least in my case, the lows are devastatingly low… to the point where I cannot get out of bed much less function even in a robotic, going-throug-the-motions manner.

The last few weeks have beent tricky.

I’ve been getting out of bed, which is good.

I’ve not been depressed, really… which is good. But I’ve been feeling… off. Not quite right. Panicky, anxious, nervous. All. The. Time. And for no good reason. Beginning to get afraid that this was the start of a descent point straight down. And oh… once down, is it ever hard to get back UP.

I had an appointment scheduled with my diabetes doctor yesterday and decided to see if he could help me with this new, crippling anxiety. Currently I was taking only Effexor, having stopped Lithium last December. Since December, this is the first time I have felt a possible episode coming on. Because I struggle with my weight I wanted to avoid mood stabilizers if at all possible, so the doctor prescribed me Buspar to help with anxiety, to take in conjunction with my Effexor. I’ve started the Buspar so am hoping to start feeling better soon, so I can start functioning normally again. I’m so glad that I was able to recognize this before it got really bad… because it’s been really bad before and that is just a terrible, horrific nightmare. Truly.

Other health stuff; had blood drawn. Thyroid med needed boosted up a touch (what else is new…), triglycerides are the same as last visit (adding fish oil). (I’m also going to start taking cinnamon capsules to help with both PCOS and diabetes; not something necessarily recommended by the doctor as I didn’t think to talk with him about it, but something I’ve decided to do after researching health benefits of cinnamon on my own.) Weight is down a little, which he was pleased about. I got my a1c results as well. In a normal, non-diabetic individual the a1c is 4.5 to 6. When I was diagnosed in April, my a1c was 7.8 and it is now 6.3. I’m happy with that. It’s improved a lot. But there is still room for improvement, and I will improve.

And as for the biggest loser?? … this week, it’s ON!

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2 thoughts on “biggest loser = big fat FAILLL this week… & stuff

  1. thatonetallgrl October 21, 2013 at 1:17 am Reply

    You can do this. Remember you’re strong and beautiful. Now go kick some ass. x

    • Heather October 21, 2013 at 3:21 am Reply

      Thanks so much for the vote of confidence! 🙂

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