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I’m back

It’s been a long time. Hopefully I can get back into the groove here pretty easily as I (hopefully) start to feel better in the coming weeks.

Since last I posted, I seem to have fallen pregnant. I’m eight weeks today and due the very beginning of August. Fatigue and nausea have been kicking my ass. Minor complaints, since I am so grateful to be expecting another! We always said, before we even married, that we wanted two and now we are expecting our second. Wow. We are so blessed!

Merry Christmas to you all, and I hope to be back posting at least semi-regularly soon!

biggest loser challenge update

This week, I brought it. -3.2 pounds. Yes! I’m in second place right now, but I’m in it to win it. ūüėČ

biggest loser = big fat FAILLL this week… & stuff

A few days ago I posted about how my workplace is doing a weightloss challenge called the Biggest Loser and how I was going to do the Military Diet the last three days of the week to boost my loss.

Unfortunately… didn’t happen. I got distracted by other things. I took the day off work yesterday and didn’t weigh in. One of those “eff it” things… but I needed to do that.

Being bipolar is a real pain in the ass. I’m grateful that if I have to be bipolar at all, at least I am type two, which is ‘soft’ bipolar. That is not to say being of the ‘soft’ variety is easy. Manias are more mild than in classic bipolar, but at least in my case, the lows are devastatingly low… to the point where I cannot get out of bed much less function even in a robotic, going-throug-the-motions manner.

The last few weeks have beent tricky.

I’ve been getting out of bed, which is good.

I’ve not been depressed, really… which is good. But I’ve been feeling… off. Not quite right. Panicky, anxious, nervous. All. The. Time. And for no good reason. Beginning to get afraid that this was the start of a descent point straight down. And oh… once down, is it ever hard to get back UP.

I had an appointment scheduled with my diabetes doctor yesterday and decided to see if he could help me with this new, crippling anxiety. Currently I was taking only Effexor, having stopped Lithium last December. Since December, this is the first time I have felt a possible episode coming on. Because I struggle with my weight I wanted to avoid mood stabilizers if at all possible, so the doctor prescribed me Buspar to help with anxiety, to take in conjunction with my Effexor. I’ve started the Buspar so am hoping to start feeling better soon, so I can start functioning normally again. I’m so glad that I was able to recognize this before it got really bad… because it’s been really bad before and that is just a terrible, horrific nightmare. Truly.

Other health stuff; had blood drawn. Thyroid med needed boosted up a touch (what else is new…), triglycerides are the same as last visit (adding fish oil). (I’m also going to start taking cinnamon capsules to help with both PCOS and diabetes; not something necessarily recommended by the doctor as I didn’t think to talk with him about it, but something I’ve decided to do after researching health benefits of cinnamon on my own.) Weight is down a little, which he was pleased about. I got my a1c results as well. In a normal, non-diabetic individual the a1c is 4.5 to 6. When I was diagnosed in April, my a1c was 7.8 and it is now 6.3. I’m happy with that. It’s improved a lot. But there is still room for improvement, and I will improve.

And as for the biggest loser?? … this week, it’s ON!

doing it military style

My workplace recently started a weightloss competition that we’ve coined The Biggest Loser Challenge. Each ‘set’ will proceed in four week intervals with weigh-ins once a week on Fridays at noon; each participant may lose weight following whatever eating and/or exercise program of his or her choosing. At the beginning of each new cycle, $10 is collected by each participant; at the end of the cycle, the Pot o’ Cash is collected by the person who has lost the largest percentage of body weight (we thought this might be more fair than going strictly by pounds).

There are seven of us this cycle. We started on Friday, October 11. Four days down and three to go until weigh-in. For the past four days I have simply eaten less than usual and made better dietary choices. For the next three days though, it’s on. Really on. I’ll be eating ‘military style’ tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday. I hope that my efforts pay off on the scale on Friday!

I have my doubts as to whether the Military Diet is an actual, um, Military Diet. It’s said that this diet is followed by those in the military who must make weight, and must do so quickly. I’ve heard that this is a myth; however, via my research I’ve learned that this diet is sometimes prescribed by doctors for obese patients to lose weight quickly before surgery.

If you look at the menu… that seems kinda strange. I mean, hotdogs and vanilla ice cream? Really?

Alas… it does work, although I’m not sure why or how. Some sources claim the combination of foods trigger some kind of chemical reaction that causes you to lose¬†weight¬†quickly. Other sources say that the quick loss is simply attributed to the fact that this is a very low calorie diet. I tend to believe the latter, but I’m not scientist.¬†I completed one three-day session during the summer and lost 6 1/2 pounds. Surprisingly, once I returned to my normal diet, I kept it off… that is, until I went buckwild and ate everything in sight for a few weeks. But that’s not the diet’s fault. It’s my fault for being a ravenous, indulgent beast. But that’s OK. It happens.

Refer to this link to find out how to eat in the good ol’ Military Style fashion:

Yeah… it doesn’t look like a lot of fun, does it? But that’s cool. I can hang for three days.

If you google this diet, various sources recommend against using substitutions for the best results. However, my past experience with losing 6 1/2 pounds in three days has made me confident that it is okay to substitute here and there and still achieve fantastic results. I plan to substitute Greek yogurt in place of the ice cream, for one. I’m not sure that I’ll be consuming the beef franks on Day Two. I like hotdogs just fine, on a bun or wrapped in a crescent roll a la ‘pigs in a blanket’ style… but to eat them just plain sounds a little nausea-inducing. I will have a hard enough time eating the tuna plain that I don’t know if I can do it with beef franks, too. I might sub that out for some lean protein like a 93/7 hamburger patty or chicken breast.

I have to admit I’m dreading this… it’s bland and boring! But I’ll do it, do it well… in hopes of becoming this week’s Biggest Loser.


start it up


There needs to be some kind of Blogging 101 or something, I’m thinking, as I sit here eager to compose and publish my first post. Of course I could just wait until I have some actual material, something of substance, but in catering to my impatience I’ve decided instead to plow ahead full-force.


I got nothin. This having nothing, in fact, has been a problem of mine for many years. You see for many years I considered myself a writer… because I used to write.¬† Until I was 22 I lived at home with my parents, went to school, worked part-time. I had a lot of me¬† time then… much too much. When I moved to my new husband’s apartment and took a full time job, some of that “me time” went away and I found inspiration and motivation lacking. Then shortly after our second anniversary, Miss Audrey came and there was even less time for the craft.

Not that I’m complaining. Not one little bit.

God has blessed me richly. I have a nice house (that I can’t keep clean… but enough about that for now), a husband I love and who loves me, a precious two-year-old daughter, a part-time job I like, wonderful friends, and love. Lots of love. But between being a wife and mommy and trying to take better care of our home and bodies, I’ve lost something of me in the process.

I get it. It’s inevitable when you are pulled in many different directions. It happens. That’s life.

But there’s a vital need to write. It is something that is inbred in me that I can no longer ignore. And so write I will, dammit, even if there is nothing to write about.